After facebook got a little dry, i decided to head over to my Myspace and see what was up. Of course, nothing lol. So I decided to view my comments and click the very last page, which in essence, is the first page of comments I've ever received on myspace seeing as though I've had the same myspace profile for my entire myspace career lol.
Going through the pages in my myspace history was pretty damn funny. I laughed and shook my head at some of the conversations I was having. The funniest thing was how some of my friends used to write. The z's instead of s's; the aLterNatiiNg cAPzZ liiKE tHiis lol. It was funny and gross at the same time. I then began to think back at the different stuff I used to do on myspace and in my actual life that I would never do and be embarrased of now. I remember I used to post bulletins in huge colorful fonts and address them to one person, but hope that everyone else would read it. This is why people have conversations over bulletins smh, can't believe I used to think that was cool lol.
I can't figure out the moment where things changed; where i began feeling comfortable in my own skin and no longer appealing to popular authority. It really just seems like you grow up and change without even noticing it, and things you used to do just seem automatically stupid after a while. For instance, I would never join a "click" now, it just seems like a waste. But back then, in the glory days of Hollywood GMC, TNB (the one i was a part of lol), FLIRTS, etc. it seemed like being in a click was the only way you could be cool...by conforming to other people. I know it wasn't just me, this is a stage almost everyone faces as a process of finding who they truly are, but for me it just seems exceptionally weird because I don't see myself as being anything like that anymore. It's sad to see how people I grew up with, who are now 18 like me and done with high school, are still stuck in that 15 year old mindset lol. They still lack their own perception; I thought we would all have this thing figured out by now...guess not.
It was fun to spend a little time reflecting on the time when I didn't have my own perception though. I will admit, life seemed alot easier in many aspects under this mindset. "Just follow what others are doing and you'll be alright, you'll be cool," that seems to be what we tell ourselves in those years lol. I mean honesly, I'm only 18 now and still make retarded "that's what she said jokes" and all that shit, so I don't mean to sound like a old bitter man lmao, nothing wrong with frequent immaturity and childishness, but I do have my own blueprint that I live by now however, and this is the key to going on into adulthood.
I'm sure years from now I'll look back at some of the things I'm doing now and have yet another moment of reflection lol, because like I said, life is just a process. But whether or not you take advantage of all it's opportunites is what you should be concentrating on most. Go get it, whatver it is!
The Squared Circle wishes you the best on your quest.
